This is a book I recommend anyone who finds themselves acting out of obligation, pressure, fear of acceptance on a regular basis. AKA a large portion of the critters who go by the name Human Beings living on planet Earth.
To begin, Sarah who I will refer to as Sarah and not Knight throughout this blog because I don’t give a fuck about formalities break people who don’t give a fuck into three categories:
- The Enlightened
Sarah introduces the concept of a “Fuck Budget” similar to a financial budget one might make to manage funds except it’s actually enjoyable. Firstly, to define “A Fuck” Sarah explains that “A Fuck” is the time, energy and/or money that goes into an activity.
Inevitably we only have so much of these resources, and I challenge you to consider how much of your Fucks are being wasted on things, activities, and people who don’t make you happy right…. NOW!
Chances are you can think of a few whether that’s work, family, or friend related we all have something.
So in not giving a fuck, where do you draw the line between enlightened and asshole? Sarah asks you to separate someone’s opinion from someone’s feelings. To elaborate on the context of this, someone’s opinion can be defined as their judgment, conclusion, rationalization or stance on a particular subject, topic, situation or decision made by someone else. Someone’s feelings can be defined by the emotional reaction; fear, guilt, sadness, anger, offense or rage etc.
Someone who is an Asshole doesn’t consider someone else’s shortcomings as a result of their actions. To chuck a few examples around stealing, lying with intent to hurt or manipulate, forcing your opinion on another person, hurting an animal.
An enlightened person is someone who takes the time to decide whether they do or don’t give a fuck in spending their time, energy or money on a thing they’ve been asked to do. Be that a family or friends event, buying something, a work event or any kind of interest event.
If you are deciding to attend an event, buy something or do something out of obligation which you know damn well will make you unhappy, resentful, bored or annoyed. What kind of contribution are you making? A SHIT ONE! The point is to make decisions about how you live your life with intent and not mindlessly saying yes to things because of external pressures.
It’s really out of your control what anyone says or thinks, so with that in mind why don’t you put your energy and focus into the only persons’ opinion that matters? Your own.
For those of you interested, here’s a link to Sarah Knights’ sassy TED Talk with a break down on the “Not Sorry” Method.